From: Obama@whitehouse.gov
To: Mubarak@Egypt.eg

Look, I know you think I sold you out, but I have preached democracy for so long and you didn’t take our advice to control Tahrir Square, if you had controlled the Square I think you could have survived. Remember I was a community organizer and I know how these things work. By the way do you have Gaddafi’s phone number? My email to him bounced back he seems to have blocked even himself.

Oh yeah is it true you are sick? You are welcome to come over for a check up here.

Yours truly
Obama