Tuesday, February 22, 2011

21/02/2011
From: Gaddafi@Libya.ly
To: Slivio.Berlusconi@villa.madama.it

B,
What pictures are you talking about? About the girls, the last time I was in Italy? If you are talk about those, don’t worry my laptop where they were crashed, but one of my bodyguards always talks about you, we are safe. Look I’m very busy here and I don’t want to talk about Rugby or Football. If I could get my hands on those ambassadors that have defected I would kill them with my own hands, if my ambassador in Italy defects please kill him for me.


Thx
G
21/02/2011
From: Slivio.Berlusconi@villa.madama.it
To: Gaddafi@Libya.ly

G,
Could you please, keep those pictures out of the TV they are embarrassing. But that is okay at least the Rubygate is off the front page. I just hope the Italians keep watching football.

Yours truly,
SB

Monday, February 21, 2011

From: Gaddafi@Libya.ly
To: KingHamad@Rifa’a.Palace.Bahrain.bh, KingMohammed@PalaisRoyaleMorocco.ma, Ali.Saleh@Presidential.Palace.Yemen.ye, Ahmandinejad@Red.Palace.Iran.ir,
Subject: Fw: We don’t have pass time.

Asalaam alikum,
Am forwarding you an email form Mubarak, whatever you do don’t use the Israel card, I think we have over used it.

The truth of the matter is that we are all finished; and here is why I say that, what is the pass time in the Arab world? Nothing besides suicide bombing here and there and the Palestinian cause. We should follow the west, look at America the unemployment is high but at least the people have sports center to keep them busy, by the way did you watch superbowl? Now that football is over March madness in here, then comes baseball, and then football and the cycle start allover again. In Europe they have football too, which keeps people busy. In Asia they have Cricket, which takes forever to finish; and once done with the game they have Bollywood you know the movies that are so long that they require an intermission. I think it’s too late to start a distraction.

لكن We will survive
Inshallah
Gaddafi
From: Gaddafi@Libya.ly
To: Mubarak@Egypt.eg
Subject: We don’t have pass time.

Wow! I guess you are using your time wisely thinking these things out; you might need to start a consulting service. By the way what is March madness? Are you saying there are protests in the US in March? How do they plan for them? I will email my UN ambassador to get more info.

By the way I will forward your email to our neighbors

If I don’t get back to you quick know am busy.




Gaddafi
From: Mubarak@Egypt.eg
To: Gaddafi@Libya.ly
Subject: We don’t have pass time.

The truth of the matter is that we are all finished; and here is why I say that, what is the pass time in the Arab world? Nothing besides suicide bombing here and there and the Palestinian cause. We should follow the west, look at America the unemployment is high but at least the people have sports center to keep them busy, by the way did you watch superbowl? Now that football is over March madness in here, then comes baseball, and then football and the cycle start allover again. In Europe they have football too which keeps people busy. In Asia they have Cricket, which takes forever to finish; and once done with the game they have Bollywood you know the movies that are so long that they require an intermission. I think it’s too late to start a distraction.

All the best
Mubarak
From: Gaddafi@Libya.ly
To: Mubarak@Egypt.eg
Subject: Seriously

I need your help what is Facebook and Twitter? Is it something that can help me stay in power? How does one get it I really need your help; if I survive you can move over here.

Gaddafi
From: Mubarak@Egypt.eg
To: Gaddafi@Libya.ly
Subject: What?

You are fucked!

Yours truly,
Mubarak
From: Gaddafi@Libya.ly
To: Mubarak@Egypt.eg

Wa’alikum asalaam,

What is Facebook and twitter?

Gaddafi?
From: Mubarak@Egypt.eg
To: Gaddafi@Libya.ly

Asalaam alikum,

I hope you are still in power; this is what I would advice you while you are still in power. Don’t turn off the Internet like I did, that was a very bad and costly mistake since they silly youth didn’t have anything to do therefore they went out to protest. Let then have their stupide Facebook and twitter. Get your money out of the Swiss bank since once you step down they will freeze your asset. I didn’t think they would do that to me, try not to kill a lot of people since they may come after you when your bullets are over.

Inshallah
Mubarak
From: Slivio.Berlusconi@villa.madama.it
To: Cardinal.A.Bagnasco@ApostolicPalace.va

Your highness kindly ask his Holiness that he has to support me at this moment of hardship, all I can say is am a sinner but I have not sinned this Rubygate is a total fabrication just like the church has been accused of pedophilia.


Sincerely
Silvio

Sunday, February 20, 2011

From: Obama@whitehouse.gov
To: Mubarak@Egypt.eg

Look, I know you think I sold you out, but I have preached democracy for so long and you didn’t take our advice to control Tahrir Square, if you had controlled the Square I think you could have survived. Remember I was a community organizer and I know how these things work. By the way do you have Gaddafi’s phone number? My email to him bounced back he seems to have blocked even himself.

Oh yeah is it true you are sick? You are welcome to come over for a check up here.

Yours truly
Obama
From: Gaddafi@Libya.ly
To: Mubarak@Egypt.eg
Cc: Ben.Ali@Tunisia.tn

I know things are not going well in this region, but since you guys seem to have more experience than me what would you recommend me to do? I noticed that you both were kicked out on a Friday hence to prevent that from happening to me I have abolished Fridays. I think that should help.

Urgently waiting for advice.
Gaddafi

Sunday, December 12, 2010

From: Dick.Cheney@formerVP.gov
To:Donald.Rumsfeld@secretaryofDefense.gov

Rums,
I can see you are starting to twitter, did you check with Bush before twitting? And how come you didn’t notify me before starting to use email, you know how I hate getting information about us in the papers for all I care the paper ought to be considered WMDs.

Dick.

Wednesday, July 07, 2010

FROM: Gitau@pphilosophy.blogspot.com 07/03/10
TO: Elin.Woods@ex-golfclubs.com
SUBJECT: Money

Elin,

Just saw the news flash, you are settling for a cool $100M? Thats not bad you should be well off. But in return what are you giving up? That is what you should be asking, if you had made a book deal plus do the rounds on the talk show you would have got much more. I still can’t believe that he did that to you; what a scumbag!!!! P.s. if you need anything am here for you.

G


FROM: Gitau@pphilosophy.blogspot.com 07/03/10
TO: Tiger.Woods@golf.com
SUBJECT: Re: Performance

What!!!!? You just shelled out $100M for her silence? Which lawyer are you using? The same one you used for DUI case? What you should have done is let her talk, from what you have told me your stuff is already out (unless what you told me is not totally true) hence no more damage. But I must say the $100M was a good call since she can’t talk if she does you can sue her!!! Hey lets chat later, my mrs is outta of town, wonna jet to Las Vegas this coming weekend? I have a business proposition.

Yours truly,
Gman


FROM: Gitau@pphilosophy.blogspot.com 07/4/10
TO: Tio.Kurt@medical.com
SUBJECT: 4th July

Hey dude!
How was your 4th of July? Mine was great!!! Tiger might settle with his wife…am not sure whether to call her his ex or not, any how it is kinda complicated. We should be off to Las Vegas this coming weekend. Wonna come?

Later dude
Gmoney.

Tuesday, July 06, 2010

FROM: Gitau@pphilosophy.blogspot.com 07/04/10
TO: Maggie.Gitau@gmail.com
SUBJECT: Summer camp

We just got back from the lake house!!! Honey I know that is what the boys want but surely you can’t always give them what they want! Am not kidding you but their diet would consist of sodas for breakfast, ice-cream and ice-cream for lunch and dinner. If they want to go back to the lake house please take them, but let them know I have to work therefore I won’t be able to make it this soon.

Gg


FROM: Gitau@pphilosophy.blogspot.com 07/03/10
TO: Tiger.Woods@golf.com
SUBJECT: Performance

Hey Buddy,
I know …I know the Mrs still hasn’t forgiven you but that is no reason to ignore my email. Anyhow, all am saying is, watch your performance….no I didn’t mean in bed!!! I meant on the course you just shot a one-over 71, marking the first time in 11 years that you didn't break par over four rounds in a regular PGA Tour event. If you ask me that is not a good thing, please don’t listen to your critics, just FYI there is a rumor that you should change your name from Woods to Fairway that way you will stop been a branch manager!!

Yours truly, on your side
Gman


FROM: Gitau@pphilosophy.blogspot.com 07/04/10
TO: Maggie.Gitau@gmail.com
SUBJECT: Re:Summer camp

Hey I know am an aspiring writer and I can write from anywhere but I need quite time to write my thoughts out, I can’t do that with the kids wanting to swim all day and play board games at night and besides the signal at the lake house is so poor sometimes I feel the world is passing me by when am at the lake house without been tired….and NO!!! the world cup has nothing to do with me not wanting to go there this coming weekend. Even if the final wasn’t this coming I would still not have gone.

G

Thursday, July 01, 2010

FROM: Gitau@pphilosophy.blogspot.com 06/30/10
TO: Maggie.Gitau@gmail.com
SUBJECT: Kids

Honey,
I didn’t like the tone of your voice this morning; I know the kids were late to school on Monday, if you hadn’t taken them to watch Karate Kid at 8pm perhaps they would have gone to bed early. I don’t understand how your lack of planning constitutes to an emergency on my part. Just send them with a note,it won’t happen again.

Luv
G


FROM: Gitau@pphilosophy.blogspot.com 06/30/10
TO: Sepp.Blatter@FifaPresident.com
SUBJECT: Goal-Line Technology

Dear Sir,
It a good thing that you have finally had time to review disallowed England goal (not that I support them) on YouTube. I hear you also apologized to England about it good good. What I don’t understand is how I can watch live soccer matches on my phone and yet you can’t implement goal-line technology. You must be living in denial this is akin to wondering why Al Capone was arrested for tax evasion.

Yours truly,
Gee

Monday, June 28, 2010

FROM: Gitau@pphilosophy.blogspot.com 06/15/10
TO: J.R.Babbit@FAA.gov
SUBJECT: Exit Row Sits

J,
I don’t know the last time you took a commercial flight, but here is something that is going on that I would like you to look into. The airlines are selling Emergency Exit Row at a premium and advertising it as extra leg room. I don’t think this should be the case, while I was flying last month the people on those rows could not perform the duties were an emergency to occur. The people with money would buy the sits for their grandfather who can’t perform when needed. P.S. I don’t have anything against the grandfathers and people who buy this leg room. Please get back to me soonest.


Thx
Gitau


FROM: Gitau@pphilosophy.blogspot.com 06/16/10
TO: Maggie.Gitau@gmail.com
SUBJECT: Last Night

Honey,
I know am not the easiest person to deal with, but saying that you felt like you were baby sitting an infant simply because my socks where under the dining table was totally uncalled for. Now I have to build some self-esteem backup just to go for a meeting.

Xoxo
G

FROM: Gitau@pphilosophy.blogspot.com 06/16/10
TO: POTUS@WH.gov
SUBJECT: General McCrystal

Dear Mr President,
Am not sure why you fired the general, I know you want to affirm the civilian rule over the military which is great; I just hope you fired him for talking to Rolling Stone (which by the way I have suspend my subscription which I had subscribed when you were on it’s cover), otherwise not for what he said about your admin. Since time in memorial the military has had a fouled mouth it is the nature of their trade, take a look at General Patton fouled mouth and even slapped a soldier, but he got the job done. I guess what he was try to say is SNAFU.

Concern citizen


FROM: Gitau@pphilosophy.blogspot.com 06/18/10
TO: Nicolas. Sarkozy@Elysee.fr
SUBJECT: World Cup 2010

Dear Mr President,

I know the French team didn’t perform well and they had a lot of internal problems. When you meet with Thierry Henry please find out why he didn’t play the 1st two games which would have made a difference. I hope that your internal problem with L’Oreal heiress don’t mimic the football time, don’t damp your financial minister.

Sincerely
Gitau




FROM: Gitau@pphilosophy.blogspot.com 06/16/10
TO: Maggie.Gitau@gmail.com
SUBJECT: Re: Last Night

I know you want a baby, trust me that’s what I want too, soon you might have two infants to baby sit…or is it infant sit? Why don’t you give me credit for always leaving the sit down?

G


FROM: Gitau@pphilosophy.blogspot.com 06/21/10
TO: POTUS@WH.gov
SUBJECT: Re: General McCrystal

Dear Mr. President,
I totally understand where you are coming from, yeah I like General Petraeus would you please make sure he is well hydrated?...thank you!


Citizen
P.s. notice I have stopped being a concern Citizen.








FROM: Gitau@pphilosophy.blogspot.com 06/22/10
TO: J.R.Babbit@FAA.gov
SUBJECT: Re:Exit Row Sits

J,
What do you mean you haven’t heard of this practice? One thing I can assure you is that this is a tragedy in the making while making money. Some of those people can’t even lift 30lbs let alone 40lbs. I would rather someone who doesn’t speak English but can life 40 plus lbs than one who can’t lift 30lbs

Concern flyer
Gitau


FROM: Gitau@pphilosophy.blogspot.com 06/24/10
TO: J.R.Babbit@FAA.gov
SUBJECT: Re:Re:Exit Row Sits

Why you ask? No you are not serious! You asked that? At least he can follow the drawings on the emergency exit door.



Very Concern flyer
Gitau



FROM: Gitau@pphilosophy.blogspot.com 06/26/10
TO: Maggie.Gitau@gmail.com
SUBJECT: Re:Re: Last Night

No!! today doesn’t count!!!!…I just left it up because of what you said. I might be late for diner.

FROM: Gitau@pphilosophy.blogspot.com 06/28/10
TO: Maggie.Gitau@gmail.com
SUBJECT: Re:Re:Re: Last Night

No, it’s not because of this argument, which I would prefer you call a discussion, its work related. Why is it that when I give you a heads up of my lateness to diner you assume am having a drink with the boys….if anything you should be happy it’s not gals from the office…I don’t like them I have told you that, you are the best!!!!

Love
G


FROM: Gitau@pphilosophy.blogspot.com 06/28/10
TO: Tio.Kurt@medical.com
SUBJECT: Tonight

Hey Dude wonna have a drink tonight?

Gmoney.


FROM: Gitau@pphilosophy.blogspot.com 06/28/10
TO: Stephen.Harper@LangevinBlock.ca
Cc: David.Miller@TorontoMayor.ca
SUBJECT: The G-20 Toronto Summit

Dear Mr. Prime Minister

You are defending spending C$9310 million on security at the G-20 Summit, but as you may have heard and seen on TV, there was wide unrest in the city of Toronto. What it seems to me is that the security was for the delegates and not the citizens of Toronto. My ex-grandmother-in-law’s shop sustained heavy damage from demonstrators. I understand that the demonstrators didn’t breach the green zone around the financial district. Why was the security around my ex-grandma-in-law shop breached?


Very Concern ex-grandson-out-law
Gitau


FROM: Gitau@pphilosophy.blogspot.com 06/28/10
TO: David.Miller@TorontoMayor.ca
Cc: Stephen.Harper@LangevinBlock.ca
SUBJECT: Fwd: Re The G-20 Toronto Summit

Mr. Mayor,

Thank you very much for your prompt response. No, am not sure she has insurance and even if she did am not sure how long the insurance company will take to pay if at all. No, I can’t ask her now since my ex is staying with her, she just flew after the story broke; and besides she doesn’t know grandma and I keep in touch. She is just one really nice sweet lady. You should meet her sometime.

P.s. Don’t wait until its election time to come meet her…she is very shape and you can’t pull a fast one on her.

Very Concern ex-grandson-out-law
Gitau


FROM: Gitau@pphilosophy.blogspot.com 06/28/10
TO: Stephen.Harper@LangevinBlock.ca
Cc: David.Miller@TorontoMayor.ca
SUBJECT: Re:The G-20 Toronto Summit

Mr. PM,

Am not sure what you are implying, if I understand your email correctly you were asking for suggestion on what could have been done. 1st you could have a QM2 type of a ship build at a price tag of C$830m and float it off the coast of Nova Scotia using and the military for security (if the protestors came to sea you could declared them as pirates and fired on them) thus saving C$200m, and at the end of the summit sell the liner to cruise ship company who would be willing to buy it at a premium since it was the site of G-20 Summit, thus saving my ex-grandmother-in-law some money on taxes. But if you wanted to go another route you would have rented the original QM2 at have that price…just between you and I double check the resume of your financial advisor. By the way Holland and Brazil won yesterday’s soccer matches.

Very Concern ex-grandson-out-law
Gitau


FROM: Gitau@pphilosophy.blogspot.com 06/28/10
TO: General.McChyrstal@army.mil
SUBJECT: Firing

General,
I didn’t approve of the president’s decision to fire you, even Gen Patton was not fired in the middle of WWII and he was worse than you…I mean talking about his superiors…and leaders of allied forces, he even slapped a soldier. But like the good soldier you are… adapt to the situation, but don’t forget the lesson. When the president was looking for an ass to kick….yeah yeah…I know he was looking at BP, thus you left your flank side open and unfortunately (for you) and fortunately (for him) that is where your ass was and it got kicked. I can only assume you were in Afghanistan for too long to forget the all American saying CYA.


P.s. what is your next endeavor?...security analyst of the G-20 Summit on cable?

Military student, East Point
Gitau

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

WHY AMERICA HAS THE BEST TREATMENT FACILITIES

The question has always been asked why is that America has the best treatment facilities in the world, e.g. cancer treatments and the like? Well, the answer is very simple when the preventive sux and cause is the buried then one is bound to have the best of the latter. The best analogy is this, during the cold war era (and up to now ) the Soviets were said to make the best ejection seats….and why is that?, Because they couldn’t make good fighter planes. All this is because of miss placed and miss allocation of resources, another good example comes from Russia, they make among the best tanks in the world but they can’t produce a good quality car they are still making the boxy lada.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

H1N1 or is it Hone None?

“Typically, it takes three years or so for the human cases to take off. But in Colorado, for example, the cases skyrocketed in just one year, from 14 cases in 2002 to 2,947 in 2003. In Idaho, the cases jumped from 13 in 2005 to 996 last year — only the third year after its first case. And California went from one case in 2002 to 779 in 2004.”

“The mosquito-borne virus has infected 2,000 people in 32 states so far this year and killed 98. Particularly worrisome are recent discoveries that West Nile apparently can be spread through blood transfusions if someone donates blood shortly after becoming infected, and that it occasionally causes a polio-like paralysis.” -2005 The Associated Press

“Sen. Patrick Leahy called on the government to examine whether terrorism is involved in a West Nile outbreak that has killed 54 people this year. According to the CDC, nationally, 1,295 people have contracted the disease and 54 have died.
Leahy's office also released excerpts Thursday from previous news and congressional committee reports saying officials had downplayed the fear that the spread of West Nile virus might be the work of bioterrorists”. –Foxnews 2002

These are the news quotes of yesteryears and I have not quoted SARS and Bird Flu. Every one or two years there seems to appear a disease that is like to cause a great deal of damage but it never seems to pan out. This year the big thing is H1N1 people are been told to take the vaccine and pay it, this is becoming a cash cow for the pharmaceutical industry, between patents running out and new once coming online they need to make money and the way they do it is by giving people a little vaccine that they don’t need or require, but that is not easy therefore one has to create some hype and hence all the stories in the news of now how many people could die if they don’t take the vaccine for a small convenient fee of just $25.00 and that does not include the normal flu vaccine. All of which are going to billed to the insurance company at a premium and we the stupid people will pay for it. So there you go don’t lose sleep over the H1N1 for next year you will be losing sleep of H2N2 and they year after that H3N3.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Too Big To Fail
In 1890 Congress passed the Sherman Antitrust Act which is the source of all American anti-monopoly laws. With the law the US Supreme Court in 1911 broke up one of the largest monopoly that had ever existed until then The Standard Oil Company. Some of the practices that the company was engaged in were similar to what we are seeing today with large financial institutions. When a company becomes too big to fail and has to be bailed out by the tax payers that it is screwing in terms of high taxes disguised as fees then the congress has the mandate to pass a law just like the Sherman Antitrust Act to break up the institutions or at least limit them to size which are not too big to fail.




This was a cartoon of Teddy Roosevelt as an infant Hercules and the Serpent Standard Oil. Is it possible to have Obama as an infant Hercules and the Serpent Financial Institution (Too Big to Fail)?